I was conceived in Ecuador then transported by plane to the U.S.A. in my mother's womb. Five months later and two weeks overdue, I was yanked out with forceps and into a New Orleans Charity Hospital. It was like I couldn't decide whether or not coming out to this land which was to be my permanent home was such a good idea.

After my birth I grew taller, tanned and knew both joy and tears. My father was an atheist engineer, my mother a dark-haired version of Charo, and my sister a manic-depressive poet. I spent all my formative years in the Deep South surrounded by Born Again Baptists telling me about my eternal damnation if I didn't follow them. I attended LSU and UC Berkeley and now live on the Left Coast surrounded by militant vegans and Priuses.

I love all animals (except for Argentinian ants, fleas, tics, earwigs & such things like that but recognize their need to exist in the food chain), the sound of the ocean, bright colors, Pictionary and Grover on Sesame Street. I dislike snooty people, impatient drivers, car horns and waking up early.

I do not own any articles of clothing or pieces of furniture that are pastel or pale. I would surround myself with Luis Barragán architecture and Gonzalo Endara Crow art if I could.

I once burned down a kitchen and another time made an oven explode (singeing all the hair of my arm). You can trust me with your money, children and spouses, but not with your kitchen appliances.